Zoom’s Uncle Roy is rarely home. We had to fly to Bilbao to meet with him at the Frank Gehry Guggenheim Museum. He settled in over a few bowls of grog to regale us with stories and answer some questions. He’ll be sailing into the Shenkman Arts Centre on October 21 for performances of Zoom at Sea at 1:30 and 3:30.

What do you do?
I sail the seven seas, Matey.

What colour are your pyjamas?
Navy blue.

What’s your favourite bedtime story?
Moby Dick.

What do you have for breakfast?
Hard tack and a bowl of grog.

Where would you most like to go on holidays?
Been there, done that.

When did your first big adventure start?
When I was knee high to a grasshopper.

Where did it take you?
To sea, you see, to sea!

Why did you get involved?
I found myself wanting to knock people’s hats off.

How did you know that your life had changed forever?
When I first stepped on board the Catship. My she was yar!

What three things would you bring to a deserted island?
A pick, a shovel and a treasure map!

Who would you most like to get stuck in an elevator with?
Well, as Sydney suggested, an elevator repair man would be my first choice.

What’s one thing you don’t like?
Questions.

Do you have a catch phrase?
Are you havin’ a laff?

Do you have any bad habits?
Grog.

What scares you?
The Kraken.

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